


hold on to this lullaby

by rain (meggowo)



Series: taz song fics [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Pre-Relationship, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:41:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23182663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggowo/pseuds/rain
Summary: "The room feels cramped in the same way her stomach feels after a huge Yule’s feast; bursting, but comfortable. Like how Dani makes her feel. But that’s nothing new.She feels like home."
Relationships: Dani/Aubrey Little
Series: taz song fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652776
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	hold on to this lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> hey y'all it's me, back at it again with another taylor swift song fic!! not that surprising, i know.
> 
> this one is more of a character/relationship study to me? i love aubrey and dani's relationship, but i'm curious about the development of it, since not much of it was shown in the podcast. plus 'safe and sound' by taylor swift seemed perfect for the moment i wrote them in, so it was a bit too perfect to pass up. anyways, i hope you all enjoy! again, it's the first time i've written either of them, so please don't mind if their characterization is a bit off!
> 
> thank you for reading!! <3

Dani isn’t managing well. Aubrey doesn’t have that much experience with healthy coping mechanisms, but that much is very clear to her, not that she could expect much else right now. It’s only been just under twenty hours since the confrontation at the stone archway in the Monongahela National Forest. Just under twenty hours since Dani had burst onto the scene, completely feral from her inability to access the spring from wherever she’d been kept. Just under twenty hours since she’d attacked Ned, who’d died trying to protect her from Pidgeon’s shotgun bullet.

 _Of course,_ she’s not doing well. Aubrey would be more concerned if she was. But it was harder to ignore like this, harder to push aside with quick wit and easy humour. Dani’s body is cool in her arms. Not as cold as Ned’s had been during his rushed funeral, but cold enough to tell Aubrey that Dani had probably left the window open all day while she’d been resting. It’s kind of freaking her out.

Aubrey doesn’t know what to do. Dani’s skin is cool against hers, though her face is warm and flushed from where she has it tucked against Aubrey’s shoulder. Tears leak out of her eyes in waves. _And Aubrey doesn’t know what to do._ Her eyes roam the room in an attempt to distract herself from the crying armful of girl she’s landed herself with, but the darkness offers no diversion. At least, nothing new from when she’d done this five minutes ago.

Dani’s room is dark, cast in the dark purple shadows of the evening, like a blooming bruise across her tan walls. The only light comes from the open window, faint, yellow light growing more and more rosy as the seconds pass. The room is small, but homey, exactly like Dani. A mixture of some of her old journals and some cookbooks, probably gifts from Mama, line a bookshelf in the corner. The thought makes Aubrey’s stressed frown lessen a little bit; it isn’t just her concerned about Dani’s complete inability to cook. A small desk sits by the end of the bed next to the dresser, a desk that Aubrey knows she only uses for storage. The desk chair holds Dani’s thick knit brown sweater and Aubrey’s denim vest, and for some reason the sight makes her feel warm. The bed is a double, and with all of the extra pillows Dani sleeps with, there isn’t much space for Aubrey. The room feels cramped in the same way her stomach feels after a huge Yule’s feast; bursting, but comfortable. Like how Dani makes her feel. But that’s nothing new.

She feels like home.

Aubrey is pulled from her contemplation by another swell of tears from Dani, and she pulls her that little bit closer in an attempt at comfort. What is she doing? Dani’s been through so much these past weeks, she deserves Aubrey at least trying to give some comfort. She can only imagine just how terrifying it’s been for her; the abduction, the slow settling of fog over her as she grew less and less coherent and aware of her actions and surroundings, her attack on Ned and being held back by Barclay, blacking out, lugged back to Amnesty Lodge. Aubrey doesn’t know the first thing about how to help Dani, but she does know what she’d want if she was in her situation.

“It’s okay,” she mumbles into a flushed, freckled shoulder, “I’ll never let you go.”

Dani doesn’t respond, but Aubrey hadn’t been expecting her to. She does, however, give her a loose squeeze before repositioning herself against Aubrey, settling with her face curled in against her neck. They sit there silently for a bit, other than Dani’s hiccupping wisps of breath. Aubrey strokes small shapes onto her arms with her fingertips, and the wet spot on her collar grows larger. Surprisingly, it’s Dani that breaks the careful quiet they’ve managed to rebuild between them.

“... How can you trust me this close to you after what I did to Ned?” she asks softly, voice muffled against Aubrey’s collarbone.

“Easily,” Aubrey responds firmly, “You didn’t do anything to Ned.”

Dani raises her head and fixes Aubrey with a pleading look, orange eyes glowing in the half-light. Fresh tears flow down her cheeks like twin rivers. “I might as well have. I’m a _monster._ ”

“ _That wasn’t you._ That wasn’t even _close_ to being your fault!” And Aubrey knows she’s probably being too intense, but as she lifts her hand to wipe the tears from Dani’s ruddy cheeks, she can’t find it in herself to stop, “I’ve faced monsters before, and you’re _not one of them_.”

Dani holds her gaze for a moment, searching her expression for something that Aubrey can’t even begin to understand. Whatever answer she’s looking for she seems to find, and the edges of her lips quirk up slightly, exposing her sharp teeth in a small, watery smile, before she’s back in Aubrey’s arms, blonde hair a tangled mess below her chin. And Aubrey hopes that what she said was enough because she has no idea about what else she could say. Giving comfort has never been her strong suit; she’s used to cracking jokes to break the tension, not smoothing the tension over in a calming way, and try as she might she can’t find anything funny about this situation. Not when it’s Dani who’s been hurt.

And that thought is all it takes for Aubrey to feel extremely uncomfortable. As much as she likes Dani, she doesn’t trust herself not to make things worse. She’s rough and tumble, she doesn’t have a delicate bone in her body. She cares aggressively, but that’s not what Dani needs right now. She should leave before she does something that hurts her, and she needs to rest, anyway. The bed is too small for the pair of them. But when Aubrey goes to pull away, Dani’s loose, relaxed grip on her grows vice-like.

“No!” She wheezes out, involuntarily, “Don’t go! Don’t leave me here alone!”

Aubrey is so, _so_ out of her depth. If she stays, she might upset Dani, but if she leaves, she _definitely_ will, so Aubrey lowers herself back to the mattress and Dani worms her way back her side, sticking like a leech, breath coming out in shallow puffs. Aubrey can feel her rapid heartbeat, like Dr. Harris Bonkers, Ph.D., whenever he gets spooked, against her side. The stupid comparison almost makes Aubrey, high strung as she’s feeling, giggle, but she holds herself back. Even when she’s trying to do something good, she screws it up. Dani had calmed down, and now she’s freaked out enough for her fingernails to be biting into Aubrey’s arm. _Of course,_ she’s scared, the last time she was alone she’d been _abducted._

Aubrey helps Dani pull back the blankets, and they curl up under the covers. Dani rests her head on Aubrey’s shoulder, her blonde hair fanning out around her, glinting golden in the quickly fading sun... _like a halo,_ Aubrey considers before she can catch herself. Citrine eyes watch her closely, as if still scared she’s going to try to leave. And despite the fact that Aubrey _knows_ Dani’s safe, knows she has been since they got her back to the spring last night, it’s relieving to have her in her arms. Maybe sticking around won’t be so bad.

She moves her fingers, which had been fidgeting with the huge handmade quilt, to Dani’s hair. She focuses on gently teasing the knots from the long, wavy locks in what she hopes is a calming manner, and she watches closely as Dani slowly relaxes against her again, feels her heart slow to a leisurely, rhythmic thump. _She’s like a cat_ , Aubrey thinks, and she can almost hear the nonexistent purring as Dani melts into her touch as she plays with her hair. Glinting orange eyes close, eyelids fluttering softly before Dani finally drops off into sleep.

Aubrey continues her ministrations, though she’s not sure whether it’s to comfort Dani or herself, and glances shortly out the window. The sun is just falling beyond the horizon, the light growing dimmer and dimmer with each small _puff_ of sleepy breath that tickles Aubrey’s cheek. The shadows make the room feel larger, colder, giving more space for Aubrey to think about the events of the day before. In her nervousness, Aubrey’s hands move to Dani’s, settled lightly on her stomach. She traces little patterns into the woman’s palms, and when that doesn’t work, she buries her face in Dani’s hair and just breathes her in. She’s here, she’s safe, nobody will hurt her as long as Aubrey is here to protect her. All they have to do is just make it through this night and everything will be... fine.

She doesn’t realize she’s got silent tears rolling down her cheeks until one rolls down her neck.

Ned’s not fine. Ned will never be fine again. And despite what he did, despite his betrayal, Aubrey _misses_ him. She misses him so badly, and she spent their last moments alive together threatening to kill him if he ever showed his face to her again. It hurts knowing that she’ll never see him again. She’ll never hear his dumb attempts to pump her up again, nor his stupid efforts at lying that somehow always seemed to work. She’ll never see him host another episode of Saturday Night Dead. She’ll never get to apologize for the harsh words she forced on him when she saw him last.

She turns away from the window. The world outside might as well be on fire with the colour the setting sun has dyed it, and she doesn’t want to think about the war against the abominations they’re all going to have to get up and fight tomorrow. The same fight that Mama has been fighting for god knows how long. She’s so _tired,_ but she can only imagine how tired Mama is. The war has been going on for decades, at the very least. Aubrey wonders if it’ll continue on past her own death.

Dani’s frame tenses in her sleep and Aubrey realizes her hands have fallen from hers, and she returns to lightly tracing shapes on her knuckles. Dani’s weight is comforting, grounding, like a lullaby. She smells like teakwood and cinnamon, and her long hair feels like feathers against her skin. Her small frame fits snugly against Aubrey’s side, and her heart swells a little at the thought. Aubrey closes her eyes, lets out a slow, undisturbed breath, and tries to commit this moment to memory.

Yes, Ned is gone, but Aubrey isn’t. Duck isn’t. Mama isn’t, Barclay isn’t. And Dani isn’t. They’re going to figure out how to end this for good. She looks down at Dani, sweet, slumbering Dani, and feels something bloom in her chest. She decides then and there that no matter what happens, she will make sure Dani survives. She’ll make sure Dani doesn’t get hurt again. And as she settles into sleep, relaxing her hold on her, she settles a hand in her soft, blonde hair.

She’ll make sure Dani survives this, even if Aubrey doesn’t.

“Just close your eyes, the sun is going down / You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now / Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.“

**Author's Note:**

> come scream at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/xsunshowerx)!!!
> 
> (also i made a [kofi](https://ko-fi.com/rainsmith), so if you enjoyed this or any of my other work and would like to support me, i would really appreciate it!)


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